Fact: I think too much. Another fact: not everything I think about is relevant and useful. I think just for the sake of thinking. I don't want to become a philosopher (just between you and me, I think philosophy is one of the most boring subjects EVER. I would be happier studying... chemistry). Lucky me, because I wouldn't, even if I wanted to. On the other hand, I think so much about my life, my problems and possible solutions that I don’t even have to pay analysis or buy self-help (?) books.
Am I alone in this world of people that waste too much time thinking about useless things? I was walking home carrying my luggage and to avoid getting annoyed by the noise of the wheels scratching the irregular cement ground I started thinking. I usually think to avoid boring things. Suddenly a terrifying thought spotted in my mind: I can’t distinguish flowers!
Except, of course, the obvious ones: rose, tulip (my favourite) and daisy. But that’s it. One of these days Cipri pointed to a tree full of cute flowers and said: ‘those flowers, they are lilacs, and in Romanian we say Lilac (or something similar). How is it in Portuguese?’ It took me about 3 minutes to say “Lilás”. For me, lilás has always been a color. But then again, rosa and violeta are also both color and flower names. So it makes sense. Then he pointed another flowerish tree and asked ‘what about that one?’. How am I supposed to know? I didn’t study biology. It reminded me of my mom in her garden showing me her flowers and plants and saying names that I couldn’t memorized. The only flowers I ever had were a bunch of little cacti that my mom gave to me – “they are perfect to you, because you don’t need to take care of them and still your house will look a bit livelier”. I have to confess that I felt a bit depressed and less feminine thinking about that.
Am I not a “traditional” girl? I don’t care about flowers, I don’t know how to cook, I don’t like to spend money (especially with clothes), and when I get anxious and I NEED to buy something, I buy things like a sleeping bag! I don’t like make-up, I don’t know how to blow dry hair (I don’t even have a hair dryer), I can’t stand high hills (but I force myself to wear them),… I like rugby, big trousers, tennis shoes, to sit on the floor, and playmobil. But I also suffer of TPM, am paranoid about weight, wanna keep the curves after loosing 10 kg, love dresses, wish my boobs were bigger, can’t live without waxing and having the eyebrows done, hate insects, say “auuuhnnnn” to cute things, love bikinis, and wish I could take the whole Ikea home. Oh, well. I am normal on my own way.