Sunday, July 02, 2006

Who to blame

Brazil has this funny characteristic of refer to statistics and miths to justify its actions, especially the bad ones. It can also be used to justify future failures and this was so obvious on the news. For example, I read that Brazil never (hardly every) wins World Cups in Europe. Brazil never beat France in World Cups. Ronaldo Chubby never scored on quarter-finals. And the list keep going. I have my own theories to justify the poor game today; here is my Top 10 so far:

1) The French bad smell. Everybody knows that French perfumes are the best in the world because the French people are the stinkiest! I'm sure that the players and audience didn't use any perfume at all, so the Brazilian team would feel dizzy and nauseous. This also justifies that weird convultion Ronaldo had before 98's game. It was in France, summer and the country was all smelly.

2) Pelé. I bet this damn witch gambled against Brazil and did some black magic for the team. Ok, you can believe that Brazil won't win France, but you shouldn't say this to the papers, especially if you are a Brazilian. Faith above all, that's our fuel!

By the way, did you know that black magic was born in France?

3) Felipão. You greedy, you already won in 2002! Leave us alone!

4) Ali. He is what we call "cold feet" - no idea if this works in English. He supported Iran, Argentina, Brazil... I bet England and Australia too. Can you please support France now?

5) Lili. She wouldn't be able to watch the final properly, so it was better to end up everything now, huh?

6) Cipri. The first game he didn't watch in England. Besides, he wasn't wearing his Brazilian t-sirt, as he was on a wedding (not his own, that God).

7) Marco. Tsc tsc tsc. Bought a yellow multi-task t-shirt, so he could support Jamaica, Australia, Brazil, Ghana, Ukraine, Sweden, Ecuardor and all yellowish teams.

By the way, yellow is definetly not a good color. In Brazil, if you don't do something because you are afraid, it is said that you "yellowed". Ok, it's weird in English.

8) "Pra Frente Brasil". Mauricio said it was a weird version. I admit, it was. I took it from an Angra's lyrics website. Angra is one of the worse metal bands ever and only the Japanese like them. Shit, my fault!

9) Me again (yeah, the world turns around my belly button). I turned off the TV in the middle of the 2nd half. I should have supported my team until the end (but it was so obvious that we were going to lose, wasn't it? i felt humiliated with that game).

10) My mom. She is always against Brazil when it comes to football.

I will come up with other theories and other football posts, as I am so so so angry. If I was face-to-face with Parreira I think I would fix that horrible nose of his. Hunf!

1 comment:

  1. 11 - that annoying email with the "pyramid" explaining why Brazil would win 2006 as it also won 1958.


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